Alienation

Episode 10

This episode has no time line just like my life .... I don't believe in a regular sequence, logic sequence or time line ..... I believe in things eventually happening and I cannot recon when .... I cannot recon when I was ... Alienated ...

In the very beginning I believe my perception was built upon the fact I might look somehow like the peakock companion I had .... I did not .... I started looking at my kind .... I figured out that my kind is ugly ... as a result I am ugly .... but being UGLY by nature in addition to deformed .... that was step one in building my perception ..... at a certain point they did not understand my facial expressions ..... I apologize ..... I didn't mean misleading you .... it's just that my face looks like that.

Unintentionally the one who begot me stresses on the fact something is wrong with me .... something is wrong with how I look, something is always wrong ..... Someone is always wrong .... and the one taking the burden of being ... me....

Silence .... another phase of alienation .... I want to speak no bullshit ... I just want to forge my mental existance in a way ..... I am greedy, I want all the knowledge in the world .... I am wrong .... It means bearing the weight of the world .... But that was my decision .... The companion I decided to have was myself .... But what if it turned to be my enemy?

I Am (Turmoil)

Episode 9

Actual turmoil arises when I say I Am. We live, we die, we breathe, we eat, we had phases in common that builds no interest for anyone, the moment that build real interest when someone utters "I Am" and finds authentic words to define his being. "I Am the creation" that's what I said every time I preached. I am a philosopher, I am a clown. I am contradicting, yet my contradiction goes in harmony. I'm Reason, Then I am the mystic message. I'm the child's observing eye,then .... I am the Blind Crow. The saint sometimes, yet the sinner.

I cannot tell if I am the thin line between the extremes, or my mind shelters it all. Sometimes my mind bears resemblance to rivers to a great extent, when it's in comfort water is mooth and soothing, and when turmoil comes it's like the flood .... water can break into the stone like the flood of thaughts break into my head .... and I fail to define my being ..... I Am ... Turmoil.

Mystic Message

Episode 8

Mystic Message

It's a feeling you get
plunging deeper and deeper

into the perfume haze altering your equilibrium

is this the state of mind that has no end or

beginning or the whereabouts of a logical thread

that weaves unpredictably through the hours in a day

or is it the night that dominates

at body temperature in close proximity to

the trickle of emotional awakening

seeing the light peer through

by way of a pinhole

seeing deep into the mystery of the folds

of soft tissues and the perfume haze altering your equilibrium

it's impossible to go back

when you're in the heat of the freefall

Keith Winston