In-Toxication
Now I know why they loved intoxication .... risking their whole lives gladly to reach a near death moment. I've seen it ..... My life passed before my eyes, in this very moment I was glad to go ..... the moment I muttered to myself "And so .... it goes". I started questioning meaning and absurdity of life .... and meaninglessness of death ..... the moment i turned pale, my heartbeats went faint .... and my breath stopped ..... But I forced it in and out for man is eternally compelled to fight against his own mortality itself in an inevitable metaphysical rebellion ..... the moments during which a gate is open between life and death and there is but a fine spider thread on which a man hops in between swinging like a pendulum and man's not certain on which side he will fall ..... but all the faith pours out of man's chest as if in a public execution waiting for the guillotine to end it all and has naught but one chance to shout what he stands for as he has no chance of surviving this cold and ruthless yet merciful blade ..... but once again he's compelled to fight against his very nature and curse .... mortality .....and in the end of intoxication I said "I don't want to go now. Even if I have nothing to stay for ..... I'm not meant to go". ..... and thus I headed to the windowpane and imitated gods ......
