Episode 44
The Eighth Self
Soon after I left my seven selves on the shores of the humming seven seas .... a long trip in my otherness ..... mine and mine only .... a pledge or a promise ..... a long lapse of reason ..... induced reason ...... "you're alone" ...... I fed my very self with this ....... the sun sank in Tuonela and the horizon was soon in seas of amber before my mind's eye and it was filled with content of my bosom's core ...... my heart poured out all the words I wanted to hear and I fed my own mind with darkness in my heart ...... I've found the virtue I lacked in my years of self deceit ...... "you're alone" ...... "you're quiet" he said ..... "but I can see something else in your eyes" ...... True my new fellow ...... for my kind cannot stand a chance against the malice left behind by you creators ...... the art of lying with reminiscence..... the art of mayhem ...... I was welcomed to my own Tuonela ..... Throughout the years of writing this manuscript that will once be revealed in a world where I am deity itself I have never had my mind's eye open wide as it is now .... All deities were alone ..... and along the way to the eighth self at the gates of Tuonela I've learnt I should lose human to deity as I lost beast to human at the gates of unchained perception ....... I've waited long enough but in this yonder world there is nothing to wait for ...... waiting is what we do on a way from being to nothingness ..... and my eighth self is far beyond nothingness and long gone from the conditional being that has always been associated with a sense of otherness and was never as self evident as nothingness itself.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Tuesday, September 02, 2014
In My Otherness
Episode 43
I thought you crossed my mind .... no .... you've always been in there ...... isness .... the nightmare ..... where we could never meet each other ....... invisible ....... yes we have been .... even to each other ...... factual ... solid ... indifferent skies ...... cupric and lead .... silver and rainy ...... washed out all that in my head ...... and in my otherness ..... I met you ...... and on my way to death I planned to be a beholder ...... and though in otherness I know I am in a blind spot ...... I loved the beholder in me ...... and for I've never loved ..... I treasured the bystander ...... a turmoil born in my bosom ...... in my isness I felt locked in the vast space ..... I felt I'm on a pedestal like that of a demon ...... the hunchback in the sight of all the perfect creatures ...... and all I had in my mind was "In this otherness ..... I met you" ....... but now I know .... in this otherness I've dwelt alone ..... for your eyes have always been on dwellers of the isness.
I thought you crossed my mind .... no .... you've always been in there ...... isness .... the nightmare ..... where we could never meet each other ....... invisible ....... yes we have been .... even to each other ...... factual ... solid ... indifferent skies ...... cupric and lead .... silver and rainy ...... washed out all that in my head ...... and in my otherness ..... I met you ...... and on my way to death I planned to be a beholder ...... and though in otherness I know I am in a blind spot ...... I loved the beholder in me ...... and for I've never loved ..... I treasured the bystander ...... a turmoil born in my bosom ...... in my isness I felt locked in the vast space ..... I felt I'm on a pedestal like that of a demon ...... the hunchback in the sight of all the perfect creatures ...... and all I had in my mind was "In this otherness ..... I met you" ....... but now I know .... in this otherness I've dwelt alone ..... for your eyes have always been on dwellers of the isness.
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