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Episode 31
Perfect Denial
Himself: I've lost my faith .... I have ....
Myself: Young man ..... I was true to myself ..... you don't want to feel guilty .... Alas ... you've never had faith to lose, you lived a life time in negation that you've found the words that negate your denial itself ......
Has your faith ever been solid?
you were dogmatic about believing in nothing young man ..... you're still young .....your life is rich with days you've not yet lived, and your mind's eye is still shut. I've opened mine and darkened everything around me.
Young Lust ..... at this shoreline you bade me farewell while watching the waves breaking here reminding you of my death .... Alas my son I can no longer teach you, yet I shall admit you need to unlearn .... don't lead the life I've led ...
Himself: And here I bid you farewell again father .... I'll go with father time
Episode 30
The great collector
Nothing stops and I can't take a breath .... Yet I have always been a good collector .... It ceased to change as it's constantly changing .... You are but an idea in my mind they said .... What else do I have? What else had been perceived by my senses? I am weary of questioning without an answer ..... Common sense is the biggest lie .... And yet I've always been a good collector .... You are but a sense-datum in my head created by my senses .... I cannot see the real you .... I cannot see you .... You are but an incomplete vision in the eye of a blind beholder .... Yet I am still a good collector .... I lent you an ear to see you when my sight failed .... A hand to feel the torn skin on your flesh .... And a good collector to compile it all in a portraiture of your misery
Episode 29
Waiting
So I said “Is it more painful to wait …. Or to make someone
wait?”
For I have blamed Damien for all the time he kept me waiting
… the shores of the empty seas had never thrown him back again …. I have faith
in his return … our souls are in resonance …. Same as our pain …. All the
malice we have borne from others ….. The madness and the black silence when all
turned to white noise ….. I’m not the only one waiting …. But what’s my reward?
And what am I waiting for? I can only listen to the leaves as they part the
bare tree like my days parted my life …. Acknowledgement? …. I’m sure my pretty
self has a sense of humor ….. I’m past the phase of acknowledgement …. The
moment I left my life on the shore and walked a paved way to awakening ….. The
moment my eyes were sawn shut to declare the whim of the forger as ineffective
….. His life was defective …. The moment of unlearning …. Deformation for
formation ….. The moment all the wrecked ideals crumbled ….. But here I am
waiting … like someone else is waiting …. All I know that we are both in pain …
but our pain comes for knowing we are out of time ….. And all we have is …. An
unnamed dimension …. We are all scattered in an indifferent universe … a soul
resided a body …. A soul has broken free from a body …. The one word written on
the firmament is “Indifference”
Episode 31
