The Immaculate Perceiver

Episode 38

The Immaculate Perceiver

Somewhere between beast and man and on a spider's thread hopped an immaculate perceiver.

Somewhere in the vast space between transcendent ego and subconsciousness swings a pendulum ……

And there between a pillar of sarcasm and a pillar of self-destruction on a fine long rope of woven mixed emotions hopped the fool outsmarted by the demons in a wooden cave. Once he shut his eyes and in a lucid dream.... they spoke to him.... For the last hand he sought got the walls to cave in....

"In a lucid dream they threw me in Elysian Fields.... a mind burdened by consciousness and transcendent ego cannot see.... Things I've heard about only from madmen as an immaculate perceiver.... and for once I was throned and was called the crown of creation..... And all my thoughts and dreams were intertwined and gorgeously embroidered with elysian threads ...... psithurism in a brumous day, a contemplative nemophilist I was in this moment with these bouts of kalopsia ….. Everything was infinite, intense, and mystic.... Or may be they were moments of genuine clarity”

"Wake up"

His demons whispered in his ears …. He’s been outwitted ... he lost his balance and fell in the vast space of apathy ..... Moments of nostalgia and temperament surrounded him …… waiting …. Decades of mere waiting since the first breath has been taken in… The immaculate perceiver was placed on a pedestal years after his death.... and was called a philosopher

The Disciple

The Disciple

Episode 37 (based on a true story)

I haven’t heard a word spoken by him since his awakening. He can’t have awakened mute since he had voiced everything he thought about. A whim not every living had.

“You’ve had it” he said, “you never lacked it and here you meet a disciple of yours … can’t you recognize?”

“I can tell it’s you … I told you millions of times poets are liars …. They lie all the time …. But you were no lie to me … you were the one true word I’ve uttered”

“And then the ascent had taken you … I still recall every word you’ve said about enchantresses of heaven and hounds of hell.”

“You have always sought the one to voice your serenity …. Or rebellion …. The one to paint the desatured image of fairies slumbering in your brain for you never wanted to carry the burden of setting sail on your own … Alas … verily you were the one truth I’ve uttered before my solitude started …. You the immaculate perceiver have parted your virgin like perception but there was no way back …. Yet you followed … Alas …. My sin and virtue …. I’ve warned you …. The heights you see are nothing but forlorn extension of the depths of the roots …. The higher the ascent the deeper the descent.”

“How did you lead your life?”

“A hermit and a heretic … a lunatic and a sage. “

“Have you severed all the ties with the living?”

“Ties with the living? …. It nauseates me … they wanted me to stoop as I walked amongst their graves … their lively graves …. They wanted me chained with their virtues ….. I was not forgiven because I was not envious ….”

“And now we are here ever after?”

“Will you believe me when I say we are there ever after, watching the dreadful world without us? But distinctly I remember before all the attachments were severed …. I disappeared from my disciple’s mind.”

And Thus a grudge has unfolded ….

Desatured

Episode 36
Desatured

"State of simplification ... all is desatured ... only black and white ..... all I can perceive are black and white .... a nothing more ... all these shades of gray are but a screen I fail to translate or give terms or words to define ... they fail to impress me ..... from a land to land still swallowed by indifference as I'm led to the same story ..... I try to write it down several times with different words but they ceased to make sense to me .... what is to be written is what has been written ... what is to be said is what has been said .... history repeats .... similar stories yet different names and numbers we give each day to feel something has changed .... dust covered me to the shoulder and now it has reached my neck .... this world is rotten .... the same grains of dust never tire to cover my glasses ..... I wipe them again .... the same face I've seen for years in the mirror .... aging little by little ... I cannot care less .... the same cup of coffee ..... the same clock hanging on the wall it though has been broken ..... it stopped decades ago when dust has reached my knees ..... life slowly festers ..... so I woke up one of those days and I made decision .... let this dust bury me to my core ... as it buried my soul .... dust covered me to the chin and now has reached my lips .... even the words I muttered everyday are sealed away .... hidden beneath my tongue .... I have to wait until dust covers the top of my head .... and then soothing black will be all I can see .... a desatured screen will be a dream long gone."

Memories Of The Universe

Episode 35

Memories Of The Universe

Few days after departure with the mundane … I could no longer synchronize my senses with what’s left from my world … I’m gradually forgotten … and another man sets sail yet lies awake … our denial kept our senses struggling to be alive … yet we are all nothing to the indifferent universe … only the first man and the last man count … and those who strongly denied … in vain … in a universe that never feels nostalgic … a man comes … a man goes … still an indifferent universe … a new Caesar ascending a throne … it’s only a brief hour between ascending a throne and kneeling before another … all is sanctified and all is forgotten … for my so called divine or mighty presence is nothing but a deniable shred of the memory of the universe … we are but scattered shreds of memories of the universe.  

The unholy prophet

The unholy prophet

Episode 33

All the holy books interpreted by us beings in regards to what to avoid and not what to do ….. they have been stricken by a thunderbolt at the edge of eternity …… I am the kind of man who regretted what I haven’t done ….. a long walk in unconsciousness was a way out …. Leaving all virtues and vices on the land and doing my ascent is the way out …. My relief and my torture ….. awake … I am no longer aware of my true self …. But let me take you with me …. I’m blind and you are led by the blind ….. let us preach the unholy as condemned by saints ….. sinners as we are we are more virtuous than saints for we never lost our faith in uncertainty ….. and if we are to take the same road alas …. We take the risk of being truly alive …. not physically alive ….. and then I’ll tell you about the first man … he once dreamt he was a butterfly ….. when he woke up he was no longer certain if he is a man who dreamt of being a butterfly ….. or a butterfly dreaming of being a man ….. and thus .... I deluded another soul 

Another shape of despair

Episode 32

Another shape of despair ….

“I was graciously in love with my own world” …. And then he met his happy ending hanging six feet above the ground waiting for he has six more to go …. The ground touched his feet few minutes ago …. All the miserable men heard his light and delighted footsteps … least likely to belong to a man on his way to the gallows’ hall ….. He rejected the preacher’s last words … Believed he was no sinner …. “Do you want to wash away the sin of having been alive? It was a mere condemnation from thy lord …. One month ago it happened I put the last brick in the world I was graciously in love with …. Hopeless I was … yet full of hope’s twin brother named despair …. Careless as I am I forgot to draw the gates …. It makes no difference how long I will last in here …. And I have found the gate in here …. In the gallows’ hall …. A world with no exit is the cruelest of all …. Even if I was graciously in love with it”

Perfect Denial

Episode 31
Perfect Denial


Himself: I've lost my faith .... I have ....

Myself: Young man ..... I was true to myself ..... you don't want to feel guilty .... Alas ... you've never had faith to lose, you lived a life time in negation that you've found the words that negate your denial itself ...... 

Has your faith ever been solid?

you were dogmatic about believing in nothing young man ..... you're still young .....your life is rich with days you've not yet lived, and your mind's eye is still shut. I've opened mine and darkened everything around me.
Young Lust ..... at this shoreline you bade me farewell while watching the waves breaking here reminding you of my death .... Alas my son I can no longer teach you, yet I shall admit you need to unlearn .... don't lead the life I've led ...

Himself: And here I bid you farewell again father .... I'll go with father time 

The great collector

Episode 30

The great collector 

Nothing stops and I can't take a breath .... Yet I have always been a good collector .... It ceased to change as it's constantly changing .... You are but an idea in my mind they said .... What else do I have? What else had been perceived by my senses? I am weary of questioning without an answer ..... Common sense is the biggest lie .... And yet I've always been a good collector .... You are but a sense-datum in my head created by my senses .... I cannot see the real you .... I cannot see you .... You are but an incomplete vision in the eye of a blind beholder .... Yet I am still a good collector .... I lent you an ear to see you when my sight failed .... A hand to feel the torn skin on your flesh .... And a good collector to compile it all in a portraiture of your misery

Waiting

Episode 29
Waiting

So I said “Is it more painful to wait …. Or to make someone wait?”
For I have blamed Damien for all the time he kept me waiting … the shores of the empty seas had never thrown him back again …. I have faith in his return … our souls are in resonance …. Same as our pain …. All the malice we have borne from others ….. The madness and the black silence when all turned to white noise ….. I’m not the only one waiting …. But what’s my reward? And what am I waiting for? I can only listen to the leaves as they part the bare tree like my days parted my life …. Acknowledgement? …. I’m sure my pretty self has a sense of humor ….. I’m past the phase of acknowledgement …. The moment I left my life on the shore and walked a paved way to awakening ….. The moment my eyes were sawn shut to declare the whim of the forger as ineffective ….. His life was defective …. The moment of unlearning …. Deformation for formation ….. The moment all the wrecked ideals crumbled ….. But here I am waiting … like someone else is waiting …. All I know that we are both in pain … but our pain comes for knowing we are out of time ….. And all we have is …. An unnamed dimension …. We are all scattered in an indifferent universe … a soul resided a body …. A soul has broken free from a body …. The one word written on the firmament is “Indifference”

She comes with the rain (True story)

Episode 28:

So I questioned how she got to the core of the ghost town .... I thought it's easy to go to hell but it's not never easy to get out of it again ..... Out of lust or may be out of fear she made her way to the rooftop of an uninhibited house ..... to be precise it has been inhibited only by those who will have the patience until it dies .... the first time I called for help yet out of fear she jumped from the rooftop .... for five rainy nights she survived and for five rainy nights I've heard her screams, saw her sorrow laden eyes and her weakened figure .... but rain had no mercy on her ... when she made it back down to earth I could let out a sigh of relief.

So I questioned how she felt in ghost town bosom's core for the second time .... she was frightened to the core .... she could not reckon how many days she has spent there but as I reckon they were twelve rainy nights on the same rooftop ..... and again she came with rain .... and now she came when I could feel how she felt there on her own ..... I have always been there ..... but to the residents of a ghost town where you are merely serving as a cog a feeling of compassion once is more than enough throughout a lifetime ..... "she never learns from her first mistake." that's all they could say ... they are right but if you apply your own logic to a beast then you are either overestimating its logic or underestimating yours my dear .... I was grateful when after the twelfth rainy night they chased her down. She survived with a little help from her instinct ... she survived out of fear .... and again I could let out a sigh of relief.

So I stood questioning last night how she feels for the third time as she came again with rain last night after a few months and now I let out a sigh of despair ..... She made it again to the core of the same sullen ghost town where everyone is either busy being born or busy dying .... All I could hear were the endless screams of hers and others in the pouring rain ... nature could never compromise with her own progenies ... pathetic ..... In desperation I had to alter my mind to question what they think for the third time. Something deep within me said "Brainless creatures should perish" ..... this is the despicable one in me .... pathetic this is exactly what I have heard them say .... But think about it deep within .... stupid creatures die at once ... but helpless creatures die slowly .... we are no different from each other as both of us could make it to the core of the ghost town as helpless as we are .... but all the inhabitants of this town assumed a helpless beast will have their logic .... And thus I left it alone ... as helpless as she is she will meet an end to her helplessness sooner than I will .... As helpless as I am I will only breed endless resentment in my bosom's core.

Based on a true story.